The Colorful Times » Lifestyle

Now More Than Ever, AIDS 2010

Mudia Uzzi — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 18:41:53 +0000

More than 20,000 people descended on Vienna in Austria this month for the 18th International AIDS conference. Researchers, policy makers, health professionals and advocates came together, from as far as Uganda to United States, Peru to Papa New Guinea, they came to strategize and debate the latest developments on the prevention and treatment of the most significant disease to impact mankind in modern times.

Having attended my first AIDS conference in Mexico City in 2008, and now due to give a poster presentation at AIDS 2010, I initially took a sophomoric ‘been there, done that’ approach to the proceedings. However, I quickly discover that I still had much to learn and gain from the dynamic projects and people in attendance.

Under the theme Rights Here, Right now, the conference stressed in no uncertain terms, that any effective response to the AIDS epidemic must include the promotion of human rights at all levels. Working in the community sector, a rights-based approach to HIV prevention has always been a method in which I strongly believe, and I am appreciative of the international exposure it was now getting in this important setting.

Many new developments resonated with me, the first, being a rather old idea now viewed from a difference perspective. Called Treatment as Prevention, it is one of five pillars in a strategic platform known as Treatment 2.0. Essentially, Treatment as Prevention is calling for universal access of HIV treatment for all people who need it, which is nothing new. Previously, however, it had been argued from an ethical and human rights standpoint, whereas today mathematical modelling from researchers has shown that universal access to HIV treatment has a public health benefit, too, it lowers the global viral load, which in turn, should lower the number of new HIV infections globally by up to a third.

G8 Leaders Fund AIDS Now! Broken Promises Kill

Treatment as Prevention could therefore make a massive difference in regions heavily impacted by AIDS like southern Africa, for example, where the epidemic is generalised. Given its high promise to improve dramatically the lives of people infected and affected by HIV, global AIDS agencies have signed up to Treatment 2.0 as the way forward.

The second development to catch my attention was the successful results of the CAPRISA research trial in South Africa. This trial studied the effectiveness of a gel designed to reduce the risk of HIV infection during sex, and known as a microbicide. The study included close to 900 women with highly optimistic results. Risk of HIV infection was reduced by 39% overall, and by 54% for those women who used the gel consistently. That’s good news!

I was particularly happy to hear the results of this trial, as I had been involved in microbicide advocacy for a few years; and this success was a clear breakthrough from a research and a social perspective. From a research standpoint, this was one of the first success stories of a biomedical intervention in the HIV field. The integration of biomedical and social interventions is the future of HIV prevention, in my opinion, and this promising result will spur greater confidence in microbicide research for both vaginal and anal sex and bring us one-step closer to having microbicides in the public domain as an effective HIV prevention option.

From a social point of view, microbicides as an alternative HIV prevention tool will contribute to the empowerment of women, by introducing a product that can be a female controlled alternative to the condom, and thereby provide a viable prevention option to lower the risk of HIV infection for those who are not able to negotiate condom use.

UNIAIDS: Outlook Report 2010

Recognition of the importance of protecting and promoting human rights for vulnerable populations was, for me, perhaps the most important theme raised in the conference. With respects to HIV, some of the most vulnerable groups include men who have sex with men (MSM), injecting drug users (IDU), sex workers, and transgender people. These groups are disproportionately impacted by HIV, and yet, more often than not, their access to treatment and prevention services is hindered and when they do receive these services, they are often of poor quality. This is the result of being socially maligned and excluded, stigmatised and discriminated against by individuals and institutions, and is further compounded by the fact that they are often criminalised by governments around the world. The human rights of vulnerable populations must be protected and promoted so that they too are supported and empowered to make well-informed choices regarding their health and lives.

I currently coordinate a peer education programme in the United Kingdom on sexual health and social well-being for young black African, Caribbean and British MSM, and so the issue of human rights is one close to my heart. I understand the damaging effect that stigma, discrimination and a lack of human rights can have on the sexual health of black MSM. Whether it’s institutionalised stigma from groups within their communities, or the structural discrimination from certain governments in Africa and the Caribbean where homosexuality is criminalised, for example, having supportive and affirming environments in the lives of these men makes all the difference in their sexual health and social well-being.

Protecting the human rights of vulnerable populations not only makes ethical sense, but in terms of HIV prevention, it also makes practical sense. Huge amounts of research have consistently shown the significant effect that needle exchange programmes have on driving down HIV transmission rates amongst injecting drug users. Yet, many governments continue to refuse to fund needle exchange programmes, whilst criminalising illicit drug use amongst IDUs. Police forces continue to harass and abuse this already vulnerable group, driving their drug use further-and-further underground, preventing them from accessing potentially life-saving drug treatment programmes, whilst causing the HIV rates of many Eastern European and Central Asian countries to sky-rocket over the past 10 years.

I was not the only one among the delegates to applaud as conference officials at AIDS 2010 introduced a resolution entitled The Vienna Declaration. It called for health policies on illicit drug use to be based on scientific evidence, not ideology, and I could not agree more. But when Dr. Chris Beyrer, the esteemed professor from the Centre for Public Health and Human Rights at Johns Hopkins University in USA, took to the stage to give his fascinating presentation, my mind was fixed. Using mathematical modelling, Dr. Beyrer showed that scaling up prevention services to 100% for MSM, and 60% for IDU, in low and middle-income countries would reduce the rates of new HIV infections within these populations, and in the general population, too. This study could be used to boost the human rights argument for providing health services to all vulnerable groups regardless of whether some governments criminalise homosexuality, or injecting drug use.

Demonstrators at the 18th International AIDS Conference in Vienna (July 2010).

The energy and passion of participants raising the profile of issues of concern to them, through demonstrations, marches and protest, was never very far away from my consciousness. The largest such demonstration, The Human Rights and HIV/AIDS March and Rally, brought together thousands of delegates and protesters in Vienna’s city centre to demand that human rights be an integral part of the AIDS response “Now More Than Ever.” Internationally renowned singer and UNAIDS goodwill ambassador, Annie Lennox, delivered a riveting speech calling world leaders to task, demanding that they stand by their commitments to global AIDS funding and human rights, before giving thousands of spectators a free, live musical performance.

Both inside and outside the main conference hall, protesters from a hodgepodge of groups led the Fund Global AIDS demonstration, intent on ensuring that world leaders kept their promises about AIDS funding and support for universal access to HIV treatment, since many countries had already rescinded on agreements made previously, citing current global economic difficulties as a factor in their inability to offer the level of financial support they had promised. The powerful rallying cry “Broken Promises Kill, No Retreat, Fund AIDS” was a constant echo throughout the six-day conference.

As Prime Minister Cameron and his coalition government settle into their new roles, I implore them to keep the UK’s commitment to domestic and global AIDS funding. I would particularly like to see more money for research into new prevention technologies, vaginal and rectal microbicides, as well as vaccines. I would also encourage more support for prevention work, treatment for vulnerable populations, and the protection and promotion of their human rights. Each time we fail to protect the weak and vulnerable in our society, we lose a part of our own humanity.

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Say My Name (Now Showing)

Kofi Agyemang — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 19:36:26 +0000

Say My Name is a contemporary Black British gay love story. Set amidst a gritty urban backdrop of ‘street’ reality, the story kicks off when ‘rude-bwoy,’ Ricky, ignores his undercover lover, Chris, while hanging ‘on road’ with his crew because he is afraid of being ‘outed.’

This single act of betrayal, hurts, humiliates and infuriates his lover Chris, triggering a raging, brutally explicit, and frank row, in which conflicting issues about masculinity, sexuality, race, self-definition and love are confronted. With their relationship in the balance, Ricky is forced to confront his deepest, darkest, feelings. “To be or not to be….OUT!” That is the question.

Influenced in no small part by the 1990′s production of Boy with Beer published in Black Plays: 3, Say My Name is a tale of love in its purest sense, and tells the story of developing self-love and what must be sacrificed in order to achieve the ultimate state of being between men who love men.

Chris, through his own trials and suffering, has managed to reconcile himself with his racial and sexual identity, believing that he has found the answer in coming out to family and friends. But does Ricky love him enough to break taboo and go against community, tradition and the laws of the street?

Say My Name with actors Ayo Fawole (L) as Ricky, and Nahum Bromfield (R) as Chris.

Say My Name is the first in a series of short, stand-alone films, that together make up a series of stories in the drama between Ricky, Chris, and their family and friends, as boy meets boy, boy loses boy, and boy gets boy back.

Stay tuned in to the drama, it gets much more complex as mums, dads, friends and girlfriends get in on the act, and all is revealed in the end.

Keep up-to-date with the latest instalment from the series by subscribing to the RSS feed right here on The Colorful Times.

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She’s Gotta Have It

Dani — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 07:22:20 +0000

I lost my virginity at fourteen: didn’t realise back then that virginity is a thing that cannot be reclaimed. If I’d realised this simple truth at 14, perhaps the young Dani would have waited before entering into the world of sexual intimacy.

At the tender age of 14, I developed an unusual appetite for sex that did not cease until recently at 25. My friends tease me and often say I have the mentality of a man when it comes to sex. I even bet a male friend in college to see who could have the most sex in one week. The bet was not monetary, but simply laughs and bragging rights (I won). So, the thought of being celibate for money would have warranted a laugh and a kind ‘no thank you.’ There were not enough church services or communions to coax me out of premarital sex. There were not enough HIV commercials to scare me from fulfilling this sexual appetite; nor did the thought of pregnancy.

For years, I tried to examine the reasons this appetite grew so strongly in my belly. Could I attribute it to sexual abuse as a child or low self esteem? Perhaps I just wanted acceptance from men. Maybe I am a woman who is simply comfortable with her sexuality. The reasons resounded in my head over and over again for years. However, none of these reasons appeased me at the end of the day.

Eventually, I came to the reality that one cannot erase the past. One can, however, pave a clean path for the future. This led to futile attempts at being a ‘born again virgin’ with desires to abstain from sex and take on a ‘quasi’ state of celibacy. Each attempt failed miserably. Without effort I found myself right back where I started: entering into meaningless sexual relationships with man after man.

So, at 25, when a man I was dating approached me with being abstinent, I nearly lost my mind. Numerous thoughts ran across it. I thought perhaps he was homosexual. Then I thought perhaps he has HIV/AIDS. Maybe he just does not find me desirable. Besides, we were already involved in a sexual relationship. So why the sudden change? The request was suspect and I refused to let naivety get in the way, but I was in an awkward situation. Normally, I enter into sexual relationships with men for fear of losing them. However, this decision was reversed. I feared that if I did not abstain, no matter what his reasons, I would lose him. I knew that whatever the end result, I would learn much from this life lesson.

Today, I look on this experience as myself saving myself from myself. At first, the lack of sex had no effect on me. Between church, two jobs, and living a considerable distance from the man I was dating, the initial stages of celibacy were easy. Then as the days grew into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, my whole psyche began to break down. I came to the realisation that I was physically addicted to sex and suffering from withdrawal in the worst
way. I was frustrated with people and even more frustrated with this man for torturing me. Then I began to dig introspectively realising that there is more to interactions with men than sex, and that my self worth extends beyond how I please men sexually.

Abstaining from sex was short lived, however. I do admit, it was the longest that I have abstained from sexual intercourse and during that time I experienced the purest interaction with a man. I felt a greater sense of empowerment, no longer mentally enslaved by the act of sex. This experience has taught me that yes, I can abstain, and any future attempts at abstinence will no longer be a chore, but just a regular task.

For further details on treating sexual addiction, visit www.sash.net

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Fairytale Princess

Staff — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 14:12:11 +0000

Kwame Nkrumah once said, “Far better to be free to govern or misgovern yourself than to be governed by anybody else.” This statement directed against the British colonial forces oppressing Ghana at the time has inadvertently come to represent a way of life for one Stephanie Benson, modern heiress to the ancient Queen of Ashanti throne.

Sultry, sexy singer, mother of five, independent woman, and loving wife are just some of the hats worn by Stephanie Benson. Dressed casually in jeans today, this beautiful woman would cut a dashing poise in any setting. But don’t let the chiselled features, hour-glass shape and sexy pout belie the strength of character and steely determination that drives this woman towards her single-minded path for happiness.

The stories of a fairytale princess never normally go from rags to riches, not that Stephanie is short of a bob or two these days. But never did the Brothers Grimm or The Arabian Nights tell tales of beautiful princesses who gave it all up for love and a bungalow in Kent. Then again, these stories were written long before Princess Akua Ohenewaa Asieanem of Kokobin (a.k.a. Stephanie) was born. So, this daughter to millionaire pharmacist Samuel Benson and Queen Nana Achiaa Boahemaah II decided to marry an English bloke and live in the unsanctified world of unsanitised people.

It all started when Stephanie’s father died. She was sent to live with her strict uncle in England. At the age of 15, she thought that she had escaped the restrictive lifestyle of royal protocol but found out that although she was living in North London affluence, her movements were still constantly supervised and under the watchful eyes of her uncle and his employees.

When she had finished her schooling, she took up employment as her uncle’s secretary. Whilst there, she was sent on a computer training course where she met her future husband, Jonathan. It was more or less love at first sight for him, says Stephanie, and she recalls that it took slightly longer for her to warm to the idea.

“I was 19 when I went on my first date with Jonathan. And I ended up falling head over heels in love with him. I had also realised that my uncle would never accept it, so we had to meet in secret.” When Jonathan proposed Stephanie eagerly accepted. The night she rang her mother to tell her the news, her uncle insisted that she return to Ghana immediately.

Once there, a huge party was arranged and the place filled with eligible suitors. Despite thinly veiled attempts by the family to force her to stay, Stephanie quickly returned to England where she is now twenty years into her marriage. Five children later, a chocolate shop and factory in Tunbridge Wells, a record deal she walked out on, and a flourishing career as a singer, she still claims to be very much in love.

But who in their right mind would follow the little man’s dream in reverse – from riches to rags – and still loudly proclaim to be happy?

Why would anyone want to give up a life of luxury; personal servants, a 25-bedroom mansion, education in the best schools of the world and, an annual trust fund as big as most people’s lifetime earnings?

Sultry, sexy singer, mother of five, independent woman, and loving wife are just some of the hats worn by Stephanie Benson. Photographed by Kofi Allen.

“My life growing up was really never easy,” she sighs. “My mother was never around very much. Our life was governed by strict protocols, customs, rules and old-fashioned traditions. I couldn’t just run up to her for a hug when other people were around, or even call her mom,” she says rather wistfully.

This enforced distance between mother and child is in stark contrast to the relationship she cultivates with her own five growing brood, aged 9 to 20 years old. Her busy day-to-day world is very much like any other mother, yet despite a hectic schedule, daily school runs, live performances, time in the studio, and helping to run the family business, she still somehow manages to share quality time with her children.

“I like to be a trendy mum. My children know they can talk to me any time. I am their mum, and their friend,” she says matter-of-factly. So what lessons on race, identity and culture does a black woman who grew up in the royal lap of luxury pass on to her mixed-race children, particularly when deciding on schools and where to live? None, apparently, and it works just fine. “My two eldest daughters went to a private school from the age of three and, as it were, they were the only black children there. They never suffered any harm from it,” she shrugs.

“The only time we had a problem was once when another child told my son, ‘We don’t sit next to brown people.’ My son didn’t understand what he meant and was quite upset by it,” she says now, visibly disturbed by the memory. “That was probably my mistake. I never really discuss racism with them. I never had a chip on my shoulder in that way.” This statement, which to many may seem both ignorant and cold, underlines the reality of Stephanie Benson’s world view.

She has never really seen herself as a ‘black’ woman as such. She has never really shared the same cares or concerns as the masses. What Stephanie Benson knows above all else is that she is in-line to the throne of the royal Queen of Ashanti. She carries within her the lineage of great warriors and daring heroines, and that knowledge of history coupled with determination is what propels her through life and gives her an edge on self-worth.

In fact, Mrs Benson comes across as fiery, rebellious and very, very confident. None of it is a front. She is a consummate professional and utterly charming with it, too. This strong, rebellious, single-minded ancestry is what she claims to pass on to her children, and hopefully, they in turn to theirs.

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The Constitutionality of Anti-Gay Laws in Nigeria

GBENGOOS — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 18:21:58 +0000

Since the bill currently before the National Assembly targeting homosexuals in Nigeria has not yet been passed into law, there will not be any need to comment on it. Rather this article is more concerned with the existing laws, which outlaws same sex relations in the country.

Much has been said about the history of these laws, and the fact that most of them derive from the colonialists, however, this article will argue that even in a country where discrimination and violence against people based on their sexuality is rampant, it is still possible to secure the rights of individuals within that class.

This, coming against the backdrop of arguments raised predominantly by people who hinge their debate on morality, claims that same sex relations are unconstitutional. On the contrary, the constitution of Nigeria did not make any provisions banning homosexuality.

The Nigerian state is founded on the ideal of freedom, equality and justice. The right to freedom from discrimination is expressly granted every Nigerian by the constitution in S.42 (1) (a). The section provides that “A CITIZEN OF NIGERIA OF A PARTICULAR COMMUNITY, ETHNIC GROUP, PLACE OF ORIGIN, SEX, RELIGION OR POLITICAL OPINION SHALL NOT, BY REASON ONLY THAT HE IS SUCH A PERSON – A) BE SUBJECTED EITHER EXPRESSLY BY OR IN THE PRACTICAL APPLICATION OF ANY LAW IN FORCE IN NIGERIA OR ANY EXECUTIVE OR ADMINISTRATIVE ACTION OF THE GOVERNMENT,TO DISABILITIES OR RESTRICTIONS TO WHICH CITIZEN OF OTHER COMMUNITIES, ETHNIC GROUPS, PLACES OF ORIGIN, SEX, RELIGIOUS OR POLITICAL OPINIONS ARE NOT MADE SUBJECT TO.”

Despite the statement credited to the past minister of foreign affairs at a summit abroad a few years ago, claiming that there are few gay people in Nigeria, it might come as a shock to him that there is indeed a gay community in Nigeria and this community has in fact grown substantially over the years. A community is defined by BLACK’S LAW DICTIONARY (NINTH EDITION) to mean “A SOCIETY OR GROUP OF PEOPLE WITH SIMILAR RIGHTS OR INTERESTS.”

The provisions of the constitution cited above are very important to every Nigerian citizen. The framers of the country’s constitution realized this fact, which is why section 42 of the 1999, constitution is not part of those sections of the constitution that can be restricted upon or derogated as is provided for by section 45.

This argument must be made because the Nigerian legislature will always rely upon section 45 of the constitution in making laws that tend to derogate the fundamental rights of citizens. Section 45 indeed allows laws, which are reasonably justifiable, in the interest of Defence, public safety, public order, public morality, public health or for the purpose of protecting the rights and freedom of other persons. The section only covers sections 37, 38, 39, 40 and 41 of the constitution.

It is my belief that in the light of what has been written above, provisions of the CRIMINAL CODE 2004, cap 28, which specifically target same sex relationships are indeed discriminatory against the gay community.

Section 217, of the criminal code act, is inconsistent with section 42 of the constitution. The constitution is “the barometer on which the constitutionality or otherwise of a statute is measured. Where a statute is inconsistent or in conflict with any provisions of the constitution, the provision of the statute will be null and void. This is essentially the language of section1 (3) of the constitution,” per justice Niki Tobi (j.s.c) in A.G LAGOS STATE V. A.G FEDERATION (2003)12NWLR (PT.833)1, SC, PAGE 244, PARAGRAPHS A-D.

The time has come for the country to see the truth about most of these laws, which have been relied upon to destroy the reputations of many people in our society. These laws are being championed by the sentiments of fanatical religious leaders and their fundamental followers. The argument about law and morality has been going on for years. These religious bigots and hypocrites have succeeded in twisting what they feel is a sin in the eyes of their religion into what they feel the law should be for all. Even the courts have held that morality or sentiments have no place in the administration of justice. Why can’t the legislature borrow a leaf from the judiciary? And for how long will they rely on selfish sentiments to make laws, which are inimical to the peaceful existence of a particular community?

The whole essence of anti gay legislation is based on the attempt by the legislature to protect and safeguard public morality. But how does an act between two consenting adults injure or corrupt public morals? In his ESSAY ON LIBERTY (1859), JOHN STUART MILLS distinguished between conduct or ideals that affect only the individual from conduct that may do harm to others. He argued that governmental intrusion is justified only to prevent harm to others, not to influence a person’s private morality.

In a society where security of lives and property has become an issue, where corruption has completely destroyed public service, it is extremely hard to fathom the reasoning behind these anti gay laws. How does murder (an act that affects the lives of other citizens and that is indeed dangerous to society) fit into the same category as an expression of love conducted between two consenting adults?

In the light of the above, it has now become expedient for the gay community in Nigeria and Africa in general, to come together and form a unified body, which, alongside other liberal and progressive organizations representing the interest of minorities in other marginalized communities in the country and on the continent, will fight to preach a message of love, tolerance, and justice for all.

Most gay people in Africa are deeply religious, but it has become quite clear for the world to see that it might possibly take another century for the major religions on the continent to recognize same sex relations as no treat to humankind.

There is a consensus of opinion amongst gay people in and outside Nigeria of the need for an organization of the type mentioned above, but the argument has been whether such an organization has to be a religious body or a political one. I am sure a compromise can be reached between these two schools of though. The most important thing is the realization that it is constitutional for every citizen of Nigeria to strive to identify and belong to an organization that fights for his or her interest, recognizes his or her rights and does not discriminate against his legitimate rights. Whether this new organization would ultimately lead to the emergence of a new religion that embraces gay rights, or a strong political lobby group, is immaterial. Either way, the time is right for gay Africans to get actively involved in their immediate political, religious and socio-economic environment.

GBENGA ASIWAJU

DIRECTOR STRATEGIC ALLIANCE FOR MINORITY EQUALITY
ABUJA, NIGERIA.

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Naomi Campbell Still At Odds With Netherland Prosecutors

Staff — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 09:04:43 +0000

Prosecutors in The Hague are looking to subpoena international supermodel Naomi Campbell as witness against Charles Taylor, former president of Liberia who is currently on trial for “crimes against humanity.” Taylor is accused of using rough diamonds to fund a war of terror. He was indicted in 2003 by a special court designated to act for Sierra Leon and arrested in 2006 while in exile in Nigeria.

Naomi Campbell accused of receiving a blood diamond from Charles Taylor.

In 1997,Taylor is said to have taken with him to South Africa a large consignment of diamonds which he hoped to exchange for weapons of mayhem and destruction. After a dinner for the Liberian president, an associate of Campbell, Carole White, told officers of the special court that she saw Taylor’s emissaries hand the model “a half-dozen of rough diamonds.” White’s statement was subsequently corroborated by American actress Mia Farrow, who also stated in an interview with ABC news network that she learned of the precious gift from Naomi herself.

Fifteen months after the prosecution rested its case, it filed a motion seeking to allow additional testimony from Campbell regarding claims that Taylor gave her “blood diamonds” at the South Africa reception.

When approached to testify, Campbell declined, indicating she had no knowledge of Taylor’s alleged intentions to use diamonds to buy arms and did not wish to become involved in the case.

Taylor has denied having “blood diamonds,” but Campbell’s testimony according to the prosecution could refute his claim. In a motion to deny the subpoena to appear it was pointed out to the court that with White and Farrow, the prosecution did not need Campbell’s testimony because it already had witnesses to refuted the defendant’s claim.

Campbell, a supermodel in print as well as the walkway, expressed concern that such an unfavorable link to Taylor could be damaging to her international career, which took years to establish.

She also expressed fear that her involvement in the case could put her family in danger. Not to mention an admission that she received “blood diamonds” intended for the purchase of arms, could make her liable for future criminal charges, the likelihood of untold civil suits from Taylor’s alleged victims, and quite possibly, income tax violation charges.

Campbell’s refusal to appear despite being subpoenaed has prompted The Hague prosecutors to ask international courts to impose the supermodel to appear and give testimony to her version of the facts.

Should the appeals court approve the subpoena, it’ll be interesting to see whether the independent minded superstar takes the stand and testifies, or takes the international court’s equivalent of the United States Fifth Amendment against self incrimination.

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The Mandingo Complex

Staff — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 17:28:33 +0000

The real reason why black men are hardly ever seen in sex shops has little to do with a deep-seated respect for women. Nor is it to do with a strict moral upbringing, argues Shirley Brooks, as she goes out in search of the answers.

Dildos surround me. Dildos of various sizes, shapes and colours, battery powered vibrators, a vibrating hand-held vagina. Packets containing blow-up sex dolls, novelty foreplay cards, penis shaped scented candles, 36GG mounds of white chocolate with dark chocolate nipples, bulging off the shelves. Surrounding these exhibits, walls made up of rows upon rows of videos clinically divided into specific genres.

I’m in a Soho sex shop. Two Asian men in sharp business suits and matching side partings hover around the ‘bondage’ section, complaining loudly to a shop assistant that there isn’t anything ‘dark’ enough for them. Several white men of varying ages and social backgrounds scan the aisles. Two young white women step inside to banter with the manager. People from seemingly all walks of life have walked into Pirate of Soho to buy sex toys and videos. But there is something missing.

In all the hours I’ve stood hovering around the shop floor I have witnessed the cautious entrance and swift exit of only one black man. “Black men don’t come in as often as our white customers do. And the ones that do come in don’t buy much,” I’m told by Lamar, the Congolese manager. “Black men ask for condoms, aphrodisiacs and magazines. They don’t usually buy toys.”

Earlier conversations with male friends produced the same information. Most swore to me that they had never stepped foot inside a sex shop. Solomon*, a 26-year-old Jamaican, said: ‘I’ve been in a sex shop about three times. I probably wouldn’t tell my black friends about it though.’ Another friend told me that he had been forced into one by an old girlfriend and had merely bought a jar of chocolate body paint to appease her. A third had entered the forbidden room on a dare with his friends and had not been tempted to buy. No one would admit to buying anything more shocking than a video ‘for a laugh.’

I rest my notepad on the counter next to a terrifyingly large black rubber penis. Seventeen inches long and 4-inches thick, the giant phallus dominates the shop counter, casting a heavy shadow across the white pages. I stare at my notes drawing a blank as to the reasons why black men stay away from sex shops. And then I realise that the answer is already lying on my page. Or at least the shadow cast by its full 17 inches of rubber is.

The reason many black men do not frequent, or do not admit to frequenting, Soho’s brightest and best sex shops has little to do with a deeply harboured respect for women. Nor is it to do with strict morals drummed into their heads by an older generation. The real reason is less noble and goes much deeper than one would expect. The simple fact is that sex shops sell sexual aids. And a sexual aid is the last thing that a black man needs if he is suffering from the latter stages of the Mandingo Complex.

Allow me to elaborate; what I call the Mandingo Complex is the adherence to a myth that emerged out of the twisted ideologies current brought about by the Atlantic slave trade. During slavery the legend regarding the West African Mandingo tribes was that their men were statuesque bucks, virile, potent, and desired by the wives of slave owners. Advertising a slave as being a Mandingo was a sure way of raising a large fee at the selling blocks and thus the name Mandingo became associated with outstanding strength and intense sexual prowess and stamina.

In the seventies, the film Mandingo further solidified the image of the sexually superior black buck. Contemporary black films, music videos, rap lyrics and stereotypes, all reinforce the belief that there is something saucily unique about the black male. Endowed with agility, natural rhythm, and an overwhelmingly large manhood, the sexuality of black males is the stuff of cultural legend and urban myths.

The fact that the humungous dildo, standing proudly alongside the till, is black is surely not a coincidence. The myth of the raw untainted sexual potency of the black man embodied in the novelty penis is simultaneously a subject of pride and envy as well as a heavy burden for the average black man to carry between his legs.

There is evidently a lot of pressure on black men to fulfil expectations in the bedroom. The majority of the men I spoke to told me that they would never buy a sex toy for their partner as it would be an affront to their manhood and bedroom ability. Anthony*, a 22-year-old political science student felt that buying a vibrator for his girlfriend “would be saying a lot on my part that I can’t provide in bed so she needs a substitute.” Theodore, one of the shop assistants, confessed that despite making a living selling sex toys, he himself as a black man would not use a sexual aid as he had no need. Grinning broadly he informed me, “My partners are satisfied.”

Solomon summed it up for me. “Black men are supposed to be good in bed. Big dicks; good movers. There’s more pressure on a black man in the bedroom than there is for a white man. Rap music and soul singers croon about sex and how good they are in the sack so people think that we are super-studs. Some black guys even try to live up to it. Buying a dildo would be admitting defeat.” For some men it is important to fulfil the Mandingo image. According to Theodore, black male customers will happily purchase penis enlarger pumps, Viagra and other concoctions to “make their dick happen.”

The Mandingo myth has left a historical legacy of high expectations upon today’s black male. There is pressure from music, pressure from stereotypes, pressure from themselves, pressure from received folk wisdoms like, “once you go black you never go back”. References to BMWs as ‘Black Man’s Willies’ give a whole new take on the luxury car as a penis extension.

Such advertisements and endorsements make it even more crucial for a black man to do what it says on the packet and completely satisfy his woman in bed. With all of these pressures it’s a wonder that black men are actually brave enough to get into under the sheets.

Theodore finally serves his first Nubian customer of the day. As the solitary black man puts the condoms he has purchased into his briefcase and prepares to step out into the Soho streets his eyes meet mine. A guilty expression flitters across his face for a split second, as if he had been caught out in the middle of a lie.

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Uncircumcised Girl Day

Matt Gibbs — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 02:20:36 +0000

Female Genital Mutilation/ Cutting is barbaric. Few subjects can make my face contort in horror, nor make my blood boil with anger, than FGM/C. There is no reason for it. People who hide behind ‘culture’ (whatever that is) to justify it are cowards. Old women who continue to perform the operation perpetuate their own sex’s subjugation. It reduces a woman’s sexuality. It causes lifelong pain. It kills.

Organisations the world over have been advocating against it for years. I’ve read dozens of papers and reports on strategies to change attitudes and behaviour – some very successfully.

But the last strategy I read about in Ethiopia made me smile. Uncircumcised girl day. The strategy was to encourage whole villages to celebrate the marriages of uncircumcised girls. “See? Uncircumcised girls can get married too!” I get the point and apparently it peaked enough interest for communities to form action committees to abandon the practice. Brilliant. But imagine those shy girls on their wedding day. They’re blushing brides, but not for conventional reasons. They blush because in these conservative communities where sex-chat is taboo, their in-tact genitals are the focus of discussion. The world is talking about their private bits so that generations of girls to come will not have to put up with any uninvited party touching their private bits ever again. It rather seems to take the romance out of it… but perhaps it’s a price worth paying.

So any lady who is reading this and is fortunate never to have felt the rough edge of a rusty razor blade or the sharp flint of a piece of broken glass, spare a thought for your sisters in Ethiopia, Sudan and other countries besides. And celebrate your own “uncircumcised girl day.”

http://www.stopfgmc.org/

http://www.unicef.org/protection/index_genitalmutilation.html

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If Tiger Woods were in India

aarthi gunnupuri — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:46:06 +0000

In India, many married couples endure years of indignity and pain to put on acts of togetherness rather than risk the slander and disrepute that a broken marriage often leads to in these parts of the world.

Various US tabloid magazines featuring the Tiger Woods story

As an Indian, no mater how much I pride myself on being liberal and progressive, the notion of divorce seems jarring and foreign. Like something western and for some reason, particularly American. Possibly because American movies, sitcoms and soaps have been so pervasive here and most people of my generation first heard of dating, divorce and single parenthood through these channels. And acts of infidelity were either rare or severely hushed up. Growing up, very few of us actually witnessed broken marriages and separations first-hand.

I believe that life in America is structured in a way that makes commitment and fidelity difficult, especially for men. It’s a society where women are constantly ‘commoditized’ – strip clubs, hooters’ girls, playboy bunnies, escort services and so on. To me, this kind of hyper-sexual culture driven by commercialism could cause even a hard-working, honest Joe to slip. I am not surprised that Tiger Woods, with all that power and wealth at his disposal gave in to the temptation, numerous times. What really surprises me is the way the American media and society has reacted since the news broke.

No Britneys with Bindis
In India, which still remains to a very large extent socially conservative, we take it for granted that a man-–any kind of man, not just good-looking and young –-with power and money will have many women. It is not a truth we openly accept, but it is an assumption we all make of those rich and famous. And yet, we don’t bother to confirm those assumptions. Here, nobody cares what a celebrity does in his or her private time – off the field, be it sports or politics. Movies stars’ lives are speculated about, but just a bit.

Author Amrita Chowdhury has returned to India after a long stint as a student and professional in America, she touches upon the cultural differences and readjusting to her home country after many years away in her popular art crime thriller Faking It. Amrita says, “The US has always expected its public figures to be larger than life and above temptations. Perhaps hypocritical, perhaps indicative of a latent puritanical streak, but they are expected to be role models for lesser mortals,” and adds, “Politicians have lost positioning over petty peccadilloes. Of course, in Tiger’s case, it has not been a matter of avoiding temptation, rather giving in to almost every temptation that came his way. His women are crawling out of the woodwork!”

In India, the mistresses wouldn’t have been let off the hook so easily. So much has been said about the subjugation of women in the country and definitely women would be disgraced and vilified if they spoke openly about their affairs with married men. So while a lot of us hanker after fame and money not many would do so at the cost of their personal reputation. Although that has begun to change with TV shows like Sach ka saamna, an Indian adaptation of the American game show Moment of Truth and reality shows on the Indian MTV where youngsters are rewarded for acting wild and crazy. The country has its share of young, beautiful actresses and celebs who probably drink, sleep around and smoke-up, but we don’t have versions of Lindsay Lohans or Britney Spears willing to put up a show for the media. The Tabloid culture is almost non-existent. And while news channels have been accused of being sensationalist – it’s rarely ever at the cost of a famous person.

As an Indian, it’s impossible for me to fathom why Tiger Wood’s affairs should matter so much to the American public. I look to a few Indians who have lived in both parts of the world to help me understand.

From across the Atlantic
Divya, an Indian graduate student in America says, “The American society, as open as it may appear to the world, certainly has its share of traditional mindset and conservative public opinion.” But she adds that the media is partly to blame too.

Jigar Shah, a Private Equity Professional based in New York City, puts most of the blame on the media and the blatant commercialism that drives it, “The media just played it up, when a story like this breaks the competition to sell news revolving around it is unbridled.”

Karthik Nandyal, an ex-Wall Street banker, who grew up in India but lived in the US for about 15 years says that his conservative Indian roots were shaken only when he went to Europe. “I worked in the US for about a decade before going to London and to see that they have nude women center-spreads in their tabloids was a shock to me,” he says. “I have found and still find US very puritanical.”

As an outsider, in conservative Asia, America might seem like a liberal, playground for the sexes, but I – and many others like me – begin to question our assumptions when a scandal like this erupts. As Divya says, “America, to its credit, is surprisingly conservative when it comes to upholding the core values its society is built upon.”

Mutual Exchange
Indians could learn a thing or two from American outrage at the personal transgressions of its powerful people. Our nonchalance about the personal values of those in the political arena probably needs the most to change. As Karthik says, “In the USA Professional integrity is tightly bound to personal values.” When corruption is rampant at all levels, it makes sense to question what businesses a local leader is involved in, especially when he is distributing vehicles, including SUVs and luxury cars, to hundreds of his supporters or when religious riots that have killed hundreds have happened under the watch of local governments in the past, we should probably be more careful to check if a savvy politician is a religious fanatic in his personal life. Or question our own values, if we continue to love an actor who was arrested for murdering an innocent slum-dweller while driving drunk and killing an endangered animal.

Tiger Woods: Back on Top

And there are a few things the American public could learn from Indians. We understand that extraordinary, successful people can sometimes be far more human than the rest of us. We like to let them be, make their own personal mistakes and learn from them. Or not. Sometimes, what they have achieved is of greater importance. That’s why we protest when Hollywood announces a film on the alleged affair between Nehru and Edwina Mountbatten – the wife of British India’s last Viceroy. Why not make a film on Nehru’s achievements in leading the ‘third world’ on the path of peace? And how despite 11 Nominations, the Nobel Peace Prize eluded him?

Bill Clinton should have apologized to Hillary about Monica and to the rest of America, only about the misuse of government premises. And Tiger Woods needn’t have apologized to anybody, except Elin, and that too whenever he was ready.

Yes, if Tiger Woods were in India, he would only be known for his golf. Nothing else would have mattered.

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Is Romantic Love a Myth of Western Cultures?

Paul Boakye — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 12:25:19 +0000

I was having a conversation recently with a well-connected Nigeria who provides extremely well for his wife and three children. Yet he and his wife had separate bedrooms and individual private lives.

With all the martial woes in modern life and rising divorce rates amongst celebrities, the rich and famous and ordinary mortals alike, this was for him the solution to a successful twenty-year marriage. And if one or the other felt like a little amorous ‘get-together’ one night, either he slipped into her boudoir or she came to him, before saying goodnight and returning to their respective bedrooms.

When others around us scoffed at the way he lives his life, he told them point-blankly that “the idea of romantic love is a myth that exist only in Western cultures, and only amongst the lower classes at that.” In fact, he and his wife were rather like the English aristocracy, he said. They married for companionship and for the production of well-adjusted heirs, and as he provides very well for her and the children, to whom he is a loving/caring father, the rest of his life is for him to do with what he wants.

This was no secret between them. His wife fully accepted the deal and they got on with their separate lives perfectly well—likewise the children—all of whom were over-achievers at expensive private schools and universities.

I could not find much at fault with this man’s argument. Of course, I had not met his wife, but from his own descriptions she sounded perfectly at ease with their arrangement.

His upfront point-of-view actually made me understand for once, the nature of the conflict between my own parents, who had been coming from completely different perspectives all of their married life. Even in my own relationships, I had been inclined to repeat similar patterns and mistakes. Or perhaps I’m more at ease with his POV because I am male.

What say you? Is the idea of romantic love and monogamy a myth of Western cultures and a set-up for certain failure from the start?

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