If your best pal just shouted out, “a rich dad who owns a brewery,” then you’re probably sat in the pub right now reading this on your iPhone or iPad for a laugh.

But seriously, have you ever dated a girl you were crazy about but wished you could change that one little thing about her? What was it? Have you kicked yourself afterwards because your honey and you shared almost everything in common, yet you still broke up? So what is it you really need to look for in a woman in order to build a successful marriage when ‘Miss Right’ comes along?

The best way to find out if she’s marriage material is to ask yourself a few questions. There are five basic points that you’ll really need to look at before any relationship can progress towards something truly meaningful. Here they are:

1. Personality:
   What’s her emotional makeup? This means her ‘psychological characteristics’, emotional states, styles and expressions. Her perspective on the world and her level of self-esteem can be the difference between a life of bliss and a living hell. Look at her confidence, what’s her understanding of intimacy, her ability to share, commit. Look for weaknesses, strengths, respect of self and others, level of vanity, attitude towards the things you find important in life. The list goes on…
2. Attraction:
   Physical and sexual compatibility mean different things to different people. For some, it means the physical act itself, perhaps something kinky and wild, while for others romance and intimacy play an important part. A few traits to keep in mind when looking for a missus might be her level of interest in sex, romance, foreplay, love, sexual variations and assertiveness, monogamy, communication, risk taking, playfulness, awareness of STDs, and physical appearance.
3. Brains:
   How a woman thinks about the world she inhabits and how she interacts day to day are important signs of long-term mutual compatibility. Some women are casual observers of life while others thrive on being aggressive personalities. You’ll want to check out how she expresses ideas, her level of education, sense of humour, goals, skills, hobbies, mistakes, conversation and learning styles, her interest and quickness of thought.
4. Goals:
   

   Money matters affect everyone. How she handles money can tell you a lot about her and could make the difference between a comfortable life and an existence in poverty, so it’s important to be compatible in this area too. Pay attention to spending style, lifestyle, personal and professional goals, retirement plans, savings and ideas about money and debt in general.

5. Values:
   To have spiritual values doesn’t necessarily mean religious orientation, but rather a basic belief system about life in general. A sense of self you might call it; a reason for living. It includes beliefs about ethics, the importance of family, stability, religion, for example, a purpose of life, optimism, an acceptance of others, integrity, honesty, responsibility and other similar social values.

Whenever you are interested in someone as a potential wife or long term partner, it’s important to know her views on each of the five components. The more areas of compatibility, the stronger the foundation of the relationship will be. People can have differences, but it adds strain to a relationship. Observe and communicate, and hopefully, you will be able to catch differences early on to avoid pain later. Of course, these five basic rules apply to anyone looking at a potential partner.

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Paul Boakye

Writer, editor and marketing specialist who sat on The Power Inquiry. Former editor and CEO of the consumer lifestyle magazine, Drum (UK), and author of five plays published for an academic audience by Alexander Street Press, USA. Recipient of business and writing awards, including prestigious accolades such as advising British government, BBC radio and TV commentator, and invitation to meet Queen Elizabeth II in 2007. Currently works as a communications professional, creating contagious ideas to help great brands change the conversation to their advantage, across the entire Central and West African region.

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